Abduction
by jo-jo bruiser
Summary: 1982: An abduction and the aftermath.


Abduction  
  
Cagney and Lacey fanfiction based on characters created by Barbara Avedon and Barbara Corday. Let me know your thoughts siderius@netidea.com  
  
Part I: Shards, deals with the abduction Part II: Home, deals with the aftermath.  
  
Abduction Part I: Shards  
  
1980, the 14th precinct of NYPD. Mary Beth and Chris are brand new detectives - but have graduated from hooker detail.  
  
** Her heart was racing, pounding - her breathing was far too rapid and shallow to provide any oxygen. Her hands were tied above her head and she was tied at the ankles. The dark was absolute and complete. She closed her eyes again. Breathe slowly. Breathe slowly and wait.  
  
** The light from the blue and red cruiser lights swung lazily around the canopy of trees. It was dusk. A red mustang was parked at the side of the road with it's trunk open. Several cops stood around, measuring, writing in note pads, and interviewing the few civilians on the scene. Det. Mary Beth Lacey stood looking into the trunk. Forensics had found pieces of twisted, used duct tape and some blonde hair. The same M.O. Another kidnapping - with the victim transported in the trunk of a stolen vehicle. Only this time it was personal. He had taken her partner.  
  
** There was no warning. No sound. Nothing, but the sudden brightness from the banks of photographer's lights. Her eyes watered from the brilliance. She turned her head to escape the glare. Then she saw him. He was sitting in a chair at the side of the bed. Cigarette smoke curled around the lights and rose languidly to the ceiling. She noted with some detachment that the smoke was grey-blue. He was smiling.  
  
**  
  
It was their first undercover case as detectives. Samuels needed a couple of women to set out as bait. Two female students from the university had been abducted, savagely brutalized and killed. As part of their cover, Cagney and Lacey had enrolled as students. The two detectives had attended many of the same classes as the murdered students. They had gotten to know the girls' friends, professors, and favorite haunts. The two students had been taken in an unlit parking lot and Cagney and Lacey had taken turns wearing a wire, and walking through the darkened parking lot.  
  
** He was staring intently into her eyes and holding her head still by cradling her chin in his gloved hand. She spat in his face. He pulled back and wiped the spit slowly from his face. He pulled his hand slowly back. Her head hit the back of the bed as he struck her hard with his open hand. And again. She tasted blood. The lights went out.  
  
** The detectives of the 14th are sitting around a large metal table. Several files are scattered over the table. Large blowups of the two victims are displayed on a presentation board. Dr. Singh has finished his presentation and is now answering questions.  
  
SINGH  
  
This isn't about sex. None of the victims were raped. It's about power. About control. This guy is deeply afraid of women. He is a very angry man.  
  
CAGNEY  
  
(heatedly) That's still rape. It's emotional rape. Someone who is beaten, (she struggles for a better word) - tormented -until they beg for mercy has been raped.  
  
SINGH  
  
Yes, I see your point Detective. But the motive makes a difference in how a perp commits the crime. A perp interested in taking sex by force is still interested in power. That perp will hurt his victim, but usually leaves her alive - loses interest - once he gets what he wants. A perp out to take this kind of control hungers for the cry for mercy - but he wants everything - including the victim's life. It isn't enough to own her - he must extinguish her. The longer she resists, the longer she survives.  
  
LACEY  
  
The bastard is enjoying the game.  
  
SINGH  
  
Yes. (He looks at the photos). He enjoys taking her power bit by bit.  
  
SAMUELS  
  
All the more reason to get this nut. Any more questions? OK. Thank you Dr. Singh. (to his detectives). Let's get this guy. I want the set up in the parking lot to start tonight. Be careful out there girls. I don't want anyone hurt. LaGuardia and Jones you're to back up Lacey tonight. Petrie and Isbecki, you back up Cagney on the next night. Ladies, get your wires fitted this afternoon. Let's get on it people.  
  
** She thought about power as she lay in the dark. She would give him none. This nightmare was his reality, not hers. She was Christine Cagney - a cop. She wouldn't be sucked into the madness.  
  
** The scalpel gleamed in the lights. It hadn't hurt at all. She could feel the blood running down her chin and on her neck, but it hadn't hurt at all. She hadn't made a sound, hadn't flinched as he had caressed her cheek with the flat of the blade. She had barely blinked as he brought the blade so close to her eyes. Even when he had grabbed her hair to force her head back and had put the point of the scalpel to her chin, forcing her head even further back until a thin trickle of blood ran down her neck - even then she had made no sound. She hadn't closed her eyes when he drew a fine line on her neck to draw more blood. She had given him nothing.  
  
He was taking Polaroid shots of her. Of all the blood. Photos. Enlarged and posted. Evidence. M.O. and motive. She could have cried out then.  
  
**  
  
He had sent the photos of the other victims to the newspapers. This one came directly to the precinct - by bicycle courier. He enjoyed taunting them. He had a cop this time. They had enlarged and displayed the photos, but every detective and officer in that room felt the outrage. He had one of their own. There were no jokes and no callous remarks. The photo was evidence, though, and as such was searched intently for clues. There was a single word on the note: GOTCHA!  
  
**  
  
She was trembling. Mary Beth looked into the mirror. She didn't see the horror and despair reflected there: she could only see that photo. There had been nothing of the Christine Cagney she knew in that face: eyes fixed on the ceiling - her face a mask devoid of emotion. The bastard! He had claimed the bleeding, the cutting and the bound wrists as his trophies - but his real crime was displayed in that vacated, abandoned face.  
  
Her stomach was dry from retching and her head dizzy from shock. Mary Beth raised her head. Alone in that dreary washroom, she looked herself in the mirror and made a vow. Whatever it took, she would bring Chris home. And make him pay.  
  
** SAMUELS (rumpled and disheveled, but quite in control of the squad)  
  
The good news is that she is alive. The cuts are superficial. The bastard wanted drama - as much blood as possible. (pauses) He is also playing mind games with.(he was about to say "the victim") Det. Cagney and with us. Cagney is a professional. She will survive. We are professionals and we will get her out. Let's not let her down. It goes with out saying that, until further notice, all personal time is cancelled. This case takes priority. And I want clear minds, detectives. Proper procedure and careful police work. It will be hard, we all want her back, but only good solid police work will find her. Let's get to it.  
  
Lacey, come with me. (He turns and goes into his office).  
  
Chris has been missing for 20 hours. Mary Beth has not gone home. She has told Harvey she won't be home until they find her partner. She has poured obsessively over every detail of the previous abductions, gone over Chris' notes and reviewed her own notes on the case. There isn't a detail that has escaped her. She has lived with the mind of this monster until she can taste the darkness where he dwells. But she still doesn't know where to look.  
  
SAMUELS  
  
Lacey, anything new?  
  
LACEY  
  
No, sir. Nothing. I keep feeling she is right under our noses. That would be his style. He's laughing at us.  
  
SAMUELS  
  
(runs his hands through his hair) Hell of a case to break your teeth in on Detective. Hell of a case. (remembering why he called her in) It is my experience, Detective, that those closest to the case sometimes can't step back far enough to see the whole picture.  
  
LACEY (anticipating his lecture)  
  
I'm not going, sir. I know I can find her. Just give me time sir.  
  
SAMUELS.  
  
What about your family?  
  
LACEY  
  
Chris is my family too. Harvey and the boys will be fine.  
  
SAMUELS  
  
Detective, I won't try to change your mind, but please take some advice. I am going to put a cot upstairs with a "do not disturb sign" on the door for you. Get some sleep. You need to get some rest. Sometimes a rest makes the picture clearer. Now, -. Go eat something and keep me up to date on anything you find.  
  
LACEY  
  
Yes, sir.  
  
There were no words that could describe how she felt. Mary Beth Lacey was a woman who needed to keep those she loved safe. An indescribable evil had taken her friend. As a cop, she had seen the terrible things people did to each other. But she had always been able to keep her own loved ones safe. Today her world lay in shards at her feet. She went back to her desk and reviewed the forensic reports one more time.  
  
**  
  
They had found the microphone intact and functional. It was draped conspicuously over the "Deliveries Only" sign by the cafeteria. Isbecki and Petrie had left her there and gone to the far end, waiting for her to make her way over to them at that end of the lot. She never made it. They had come looking for Cagney one hour into the shift. The microphone was still recording the sounds of a campus at night, but Cagney hadn't reported to them at the last 15-minute check in. Nothing had alerted them, and she hadn't indicated anything was wrong. She had disappeared from the face of the earth. And the perp knew about the microphone. He knew she was a cop.  
  
**  
  
His cigarette glowed red. He was sitting, and watching her in the dark. She could hear her own breathing, but she could hear nothing from him but the occasional draw on his cigarette.  
  
**  
  
It was an old iron bed. The kind with embossed flowers where the rungs joined the main frame. The bed had been painted white and the paint was old and chipped. The walls were hidden in shadow, but the ceiling appeared to be made of concrete. Mary Beth held the photo against her forehead as she thought. Where, where?  
  
Her head shot up - eyes wide open. They'd never left the campus. She knew where to find them. She might even know who he was. Maybe that was enough to get Chris out. It was midnight but Samuels was still there. She ran to his office.  
  
**  
  
He cut another button from her blouse. He had removed her sweater long ago. He lingered over his task, toying with each button before cutting the button and material away with the knife. He watched her intently, but he never spoke. Periodically he would stroke her face gently with the knife. She spat in his face again - but only once. This time he was ready. He carefully picked up a pillow and covered her face until she passed out. He was watching her from the chair as she woke. He picked up the knife and resumed cutting.  
  
** Samuels was impressed. Many cases were broken by just such "hunches". He knew they weren't really hunches at all. Lacey was obsessed with the case. What her rational mind couldn't resolve, her subconscious had picked up. She had picked out a pattern in the scattered clues on the photo that no one else would have seen. He sent her out with the swat team - along with Petrie and Isbecki. All three detectives were exhausted, but he owed it to them. He wanted them there when things came down. He couldn't have kept Lacey away, even if he had wanted to. Isbecki and Petrie felt responsible for Cagney's abduction. He didn't hold them responsible, but he also knew they wanted to make amends to her.  
  
**  
  
It was dark again. He was gone. Her breathing was loud in the silence. He had left her blouse open after removing the last button. He had stood and watched her for some time - admiring his handy work - before leaving. The darkness was reaching out for her. His darkness. His madness. She could feel the fingers of his madness nibbling at her mind. She had been here an eternity - and she was beginning to learn his rules. Her world had shrunk to the limits of this bed. His world. She is not his to own or control. They will find her. Mary Beth will follow her instincts. Her partner had been right about Krokoff. She closes her eyes to better remember her own world. She is Christine Cagney- a cop.  
  
**  
  
It had been 26 hours. Mary Beth was with the swat team at the old campus farmhouse. The university still maintained an orchard of rare apple species on the property. Cagney and Lacey had taken a tour as part of their cover. Lacey remembered that the house was still furnished as it had been in the turn of the century. She also remembered that the professor of the history course they were attending - Krokoff - had been very reluctant to let any of the students into the fruit cellar. She had thought that odd, since he had set up the tour and had waxed eloquent about how the orchard, garden and cellar, along with the livestock, had made the small farm self-sufficient. She also remembered that Krokoff had been very solicitous of Chris. Lacey wouldn't have thought twice about his attentions to Cagney, but she had noticed that he was also quite abrupt with her partner at other times. She had caught him watching Cagney furtively more than once. Chris had brushed it off, writing it off to unwanted male attention, but Lacey had thought it odd. Upon reflection, and assuming Krokoff was their man, Lacey could see that he may have been toying with them, inviting them to the scene of his crimes. He may already have chosen Chris as his next victim. He had already known she was a cop. He had been daring them to catch him out. Well, now they had. The next few hours would determine the outcome. If Lacey was right.  
  
** She had fallen asleep. She started awake when the lights came on. He stood there, his face silhouetted against the light, the cigarette in his hand. He puffed on the cigarette until it glowed in his hand. She watched, fascinated as the cigarette came closer to her face until she could feel the heat. She felt the nausea rising in her throat. She remembered the details of the M.E. reports. Oh, God, no. She didn't speak out loud. She didn't flinch. But Christine Cagney said a prayer as he gently stroked her face.  
  
**  
  
There were two entrances to the fruit cellar. You could enter from the house, or you could enter the cellar directly from the outside. There had been someone in the house when the team arrived. The lights to the kitchen were still on, but there had been no activity for an hour. No one had left, so someone was sitting perfectly still in the kitchen - or they were in the fruit cellar. Isbecki and Petrie crept up to the kitchen screen door and settled down to wait - two officers crept closer to the fruit cellar door with a sledge hammer. Mary Beth waited near the outside fruit cellar door.  
  
** She tries to erase the police scene photos from her mind. Krokoff had sat down again, finishing his damned cigarette. He stands up and methodically tests the ropes on her hands and feet again. He slowly removes his suit jacket and carefully folds it over the back of the chair. He pauses musingly, as if noticing that something isn't quite right. He reaches over to pull her blouse further open, gently running his fingers over her bra, lingering on her breast, and then lightly over her stomach. She draws back as he touches her hair, brushing it gently from her face. His hand lashes out catching her unawares - slamming her head back against the headboard. He steps back, watching her as he picks up and then carefully lights another cigarette.  
  
** Mary Beth knows that Krokoff is down there with Chris. As the night has deepened, she can see the tiniest sliver of light at the door of the cellar. She wants to move now. His M.O indicates that Chris is in grave danger the longer she stays with Krokoff. Mary Beth isn't in charge and the team leader is playing it cautious. She understands but wants Chris out of there now.  
  
**  
  
She was terrified. She knew what was coming next. It was over. The best she could do was to slip into a corner of her mind where he couldn't go - until she fainted from the pain. Her silence, thus far, had been her power. Now, her silence was as much a prison as this bed. She didn't want them to find her like this -the subject of a police crime photo. She didn't want her last statement to the world to be a black and white photo of a broken body fettered in a dark basement - then tossed in the trash. These were her thoughts as Krokoff leaned over and arranged the knives on the bed beside her. He tested the edge of each knife and then looked thoughtfully at his cigarette. He smiled softly at her as he brought it close to her belly. Smiled as he looked for something in her eyes. She screamed then, before he could touch her, and before he could make her scream. Screamed in outrage. Screamed in rage at this creature from hell and screamed for the women who had died before her. She screamed for rescue - and in despair of escape. She was still screaming as her captor, completely unnerved, hit her. He hit until the noise that was shredding his fantasy stopped.  
  
**  
  
The screams ripped through Mary Beth as she sprinted to the outside cellar door. She was dimly aware of Petrie and Isbecki entering through the house.  
  
LACEY  
  
Knock it down! Com'on, Com'on!  
  
The sledge hammers knock the entire door down. She enters the cellar blinded by brilliant light.  
  
Police! Put your hands up! Now!  
  
Her eyes have adjusted. Petrie and Isbecki arrive at the other door.  
  
Lacey raises her hand to hold them back -  
  
Wait! Just hold it. He has a knife.  
  
Krokoff was holding a knife to Cagney's throat. He held her head with one hand, and his knife with the other. Lacey registered that Cagney wasn't moving. She noticed the shredded blouse, the blood, the bruises - and the knives. But Chris was still breathing.  
  
Samuels has arrived - he stays outside with the team. They have a clear view of the cellar, but the lights obscure any clear shot. Petrie and Isbecki have stayed on the stairs: Lacey is the only officer in the cellar.  
  
LACEY  
  
She moves slowly into the room, her hands out, and her gun pointing to the ceiling.  
  
Krokoff - remember me? I'm a cop. So is the woman you have there. But you know that don't you? You really played us along there, Krokoff. You are one smart guy. (as she moves slowly in, slowly maneuvering so the light is not directly in her eyes and so that Krokoff is in plain view) Yes, takes a genius to take a wired cop and then hide her away right under our noses. You have us beat. You win.  
  
Krokoff is watching her and all the cops. His only response is to tighten his grip on Cagney as she wakes and stirs.  
  
LACEY  
  
Chris?  
  
Cagney is dazed. Krokoff presses the knife tighter against her throat.  
  
LACEY  
  
Cagney - you OK?  
  
CAGNEY (her voice is harsh and strained)  
  
Much better now, partner.  
  
LACEY  
  
Krokoff, what do you say, let her go and call it a day. Give it up and walk away. Eh? What do you say.  
  
KROKOFF  
  
I'm out of here - and I'm taking her with me. You (pointing at Lacey) over here and untie her. One false move and I slit her throat. You want her alive, you let me take her out with me. Got it? Get moving! And put that gun down!  
  
Krokoff will never make it outside. Lacey knows there are sharp shooters in place behind her and shooters on the steps behind Petrie and Isbecki. She also knows there is no way this maniac is going to let Chris live. It has to end here.  
  
LACEY  
  
Settle down there, Krokoff. We can still bargain here.  
  
Krokoff moves to cut Chris, who closes her eyes.  
  
Hey, hey,OK. But give me some time here! I can't move that fast!  
  
Petrie is still in the shadows on the stairs. He has been slowly crouching down to grab the cord running to the bank of lights by Krokoff. He looks at Lacey and slowly nods his head as she calls out to Krokoff.  
  
LACEY  
  
I'm going to need one of those knives to cut those ropes, will ya give me one ?  
  
Krokoff is slightly distracted by her request. Petrie choses this moment to pull the cord and the bank of lights falls on Krokoff. He raises his arms to fend off the lights and sidesteps them. As he turns back to Cagney, Lacey raises her revolver and shoots him between the eyes. As he is flung backwards, she shoots again getting him in the chest. He is still staring, holding his chest as she shoots again. He is sitting, eyes wide open against the wall as Samuels steps up and takes Lacey's gun from her.  
  
SAMUELS  
  
(softly) He's dead, Lacey. He's dead.  
  
Lacey hasn't really heard him. She moves to the bed. She grabs a knife to cut the ropes.  
  
LACEY  
  
Get these off her! Com'on! Help me here!  
  
She cuts the ropes holding Chris' hands and helps her partner to sit up. Samuels cuts the ropes holding her feet and then moves away to leave the two women alone. He leaves them to find what privacy there is to be found in the chaos of paramedics, forensics people and investigators. Mary Beth takes off her jacket and covers Chris' shoulders, hiding the torn, open blouse. Chris is crying - sobbing into Mary Beth's shoulder. Mary Beth is also crying as she sits and holds her partner. She is prepared to hold her for as long as Chris needs to cry. It was a long time.  
  
****************************** Abduction Part II: Home  
  
1980: 4 weeks after the incident described in Shards.  
  
CHARLIE  
  
I'm tellin' you, officer-daughter, get right back up in the saddle. Stare the devil down in his own kitchen. That's what I always say.  
  
CAGNEY  
  
Sure, Pop.  
  
She isn't really listening. She isn't very good company tonight.  
  
CHARLIE  
  
I remember my old partner O'Hare -back on his feet and on the beat two weeks after being shot. What's it now? Four weeks? No point in moonin' around any longer, girl.  
  
CAGNEY (looking up from her drink, speaking quietly)  
  
I wasn't shot, Charlie.  
  
She has never discussed the abduction with her father. Charlie has avoided mentioning the incident at all - he is even more reticent about his feelings than his daughter.  
  
CHARLIE  
  
(Finishing his drink)  
  
Gotta go. Some of the guys are waitin' for me down at Malloy's. (He bends and kisses her on the cheek) Give me a call next week and we'll play some pool.  
  
CAGNEY  
  
Bye Charlie.  
  
She moves to the bar, and orders another drink. She swirls her glass, watching the colours in the scotch. It wasn't that easy, Charlie. The bruises had faded and most of the cuts had healed but nothing was the same. She put her head on the bar. Nothing was the same.  
  
**  
  
She was crying and clinging to Mary Beth who held and rocked her until she could cry no more. Then she was fighting the paramedics who came to strap her to the stretcher. Mary Beth soothing and calming her - promising to take her to the hospital in the squad car instead. Samuels - concerned - saying something she couldn't understand. Isbecki - carrying her from the fruit cellar to the car and Petrie tucking the blanket around her. Reaching out to touch the tears on Petrie's face.  
  
** She couldn't let it go. She experienced flashbacks - images that would shatter her day and leave her shaken. She had difficulty sleeping and she often woke sweating, sometimes screaming from the nightmares. She just wanted things to be the same again.  
  
She was returning to work tomorrow. She would see many of her colleagues for the first time since she had left the hospital. She had avoided the other detectives. Lately she had started to avoid Mary Beth.  
  
She paid for her drinks and stood up to leave. Tomorrow would take care of itself.  
  
**  
  
HARVEY (drying the dishes that Mary Beth is washing).  
  
I'm sure she's fine, babe. You'll see her tomorrow, anyway, won't you?  
  
MARY BETH  
  
Last I heard. I haven't seen or heard from her for three days, Harv. I don't think she's ready to come back.  
  
HARVEY  
  
It's been four weeks, Mary Beth. She looked much better last week.  
  
MARY BETH  
  
It's not the cuts, Harv. It's like she isn't there half the time. And I can tell she still isn't sleeping well. It's those nightmares. She won't go talk to someone. She won't talk about it at all. I can't force her -you know what she's like. Only now it's worse.  
  
HARVEY (puts his arms around Mary Beth and pulls her close)  
  
You have to let go sometimes, Mary Beth. Chris knows you are there for her. She'll talk to you when she's ready. It's a hell of a thing.  
  
It was hard enough on you too.  
  
It had been hard on Mary Beth. She had been obsessed with finding Chris. She hadn't seen her family for two days while Chris was missing and she had been an emotional wreck for sometime after they had found her partner. It had almost torn her heart out. She could still see Chris as they had found her: in shock, bloody and bruised.  
  
And Mary Beth had killed a man. Without remorse. Visits to psychological services had helped her. But there was a cold, hard place in her heart that hadn't been there before. Mary Beth knew she would never be the same.  
  
But still she couldn't let it go. Chris' refusal to talk and Mary Beth's inability to let it alone was driving a wedge between them. But Mary Beth was a stubborn woman.  
  
MARY BETH  
  
(putting her head on Harv's shoulder and folding the dish cloth)  
  
I know, Harv. But she'll never get rid of it until she talks about it.  
  
** Chris had made it through the morning. There had been flowers; Isbecki and Petrie had embarrassed her by hugging her and then everyone had gone back to work, pretending there was nothing more to say. Chris had been quiet all morning and Mary Beth had respected her partner's need for silence.  
  
The two detectives are in the car on their way to the M.E.'s office. Mary Beth is driving.  
  
RADIO  
  
Shots fired at two twenty two West Hoover St. All units in the area please copy.  
  
CHRIS  
  
Detective car K-12. We copy, central, and are on our way.  
  
Chris puts the bubble on the car and turns the siren on.  
  
The car screeches to a stop before the apartment building. Both detectives are out and up the stairs, guns drawn. Chris is first into the building.  
  
The detectives run through a crowd of people in front of the apartment door.  
  
LACEY  
  
All right, you - what's happening? (Lacey talks to one of the spectators as Chris stands to one side of the door, gun raised and listening at the door)  
  
SPECTATOR  
  
This guy starts yelling and shooting. His wife and kids are in there with him.  
  
LACEY  
  
How many kids?  
  
SPECTATOR  
  
Three girls.  
  
LACEY  
  
Thank you sir, now everybody back into your apartments. Let's go before someone gets hurt. Did you hear me? I said let's go!  
  
CAGNEY  
  
(Lacey takes up position on the other side of the door. Chris pounds on the door)  
  
Police! Come out with your hands up! (Pause.) Come out or we're coming in!  
  
The detectives wait.  
  
MALE VOICE  
  
O.K., I'm coming out. I don't want any trouble!  
  
LACEY  
  
Com'on out - open the door slowly.  
  
A woman opens the door and stands in the doorway with her hands up. Her face is bruised, her mouth is bloody and she is crying. Chris pushes by her to chase the man going out the fire escape window.  
  
LACEY  
  
Chris!  
  
Lacey checks the rest of the apartment before going after her partner. Uniformed officers have arrived to deal with the woman and the children. Chris and the fugitive are on the fire escape landing one flight below. Chris has tackled him and is now on top, cuffing the perp. She pulls him to his feet and shoves him up against the wall. He had fallen face first, leaving him with a bloody nose.  
  
CAGNEY  
  
She pulls the cuffed man forward and then throws him up against the wall.  
  
What did you think you were doing, you bastard! (pushing him again). Did you do that to her face? (She pulls him close and looks him in the eye.) Did you? (shoves him again) Big man aren't you! How'd you like someone knocking you around like that you creep! Eh? (shoves him hard.)  
  
Lacey arrives, followed by a uniformed officer. Lacey pulls her partner off.  
  
LACEY  
  
Cagney! (shaking her) Chris! That's enough. Enough!  
  
Chris steps back, shaking with anger.  
  
LACEY  
  
Have you read him his rights?  
  
Cagney looks at Mary Beth, throws up her hands and walks away. She is still shaking as she walks back to the squad car.  
  
**  
  
SAMUELS  
  
Well, detective, I'm waiting!  
  
CAGNEY  
  
(She knows she was way out of line, still, she can't explain what happened. But Cagney is never one to act unsure of herself.)  
  
I'm sorry Lieutenant, it won't happen again.  
  
SAMUELS  
  
Sorry! You're damned right it won't happen again! You're lucky there are no charges, detective! You're on very thin ice, here.  
  
He looks at her for a while before speaking again.  
  
Cagney, did you go to psychological services after. the abduction - as I ordered?  
  
CAGNEY  
  
Not yet, Lieutenant.  
  
SAMUELS  
  
Not yet? Why not?  
  
CAGNEY  
  
There's nothing to say, Lieutenant. It's over.  
  
SAMUELS  
  
Detective, judging by your behaviour this morning, and.knowing what you went through, I'd say it was far from over. You will report to psychological services for a series of victim support sessions. And - you are on clerical duty until those sessions are over. Your re-assignment to active duty is contingent upon my review of your progress.  
  
(as Cagney wheels around to leave) And Cagney? (she turns back to look at him). Take it easy, eh. Some things take time.  
  
Cagney looks at him. She would like to respond to his concern, maybe give an explanation. Instead she nods and says:  
  
Yes, Lieutenant.  
  
**  
  
Mary Beth watches her partner pick up her coat and go slamming out of the squad room. This morning's incident has left Lacey shaken. Lacey is used to her partner's temper, her impetuous behaviour and her moods, but Chris frightened her this morning. How can their partnership work when there is no communication between them and when Chris is so volatile?  
  
**  
  
CAGNEY  
  
Just tell me what it is you want me to say, so I can get out of here.  
  
Her arms are folded, she is leaning back in her chair and she is quite prepared to stare Phillips down.  
  
PHILLIPS  
  
I asked how you feel about attending these sessions, Detective Cagney. (silence) Well, how do you feel?  
  
CAGNEY  
  
Feel? What's to feel? It's over isn't it?  
  
PHILLIPS  
  
What's over?  
  
CAGNEY  
  
Look. I just want it to go away. To forget it. To get on with things. To tell you the truth, I don't feel a thing. At all. I'm not frightened. I'm not sad. I'm not even angry. Nothing.  
  
PHILLIPS  
  
What about this morning. What were you feeling this morning?  
  
CAGNEY  
  
(rolling her eyes, looking away and then back at her). OK. So I was angry this morning. But that bastard deserved it. You didn't see what he did to her. And the kids were right there watching. He deserved everything he got. Besides, it looked much worse than it was.  
  
She is trembling, but she doesn't feel angry anymore. Just numb and very tired.  
  
I don't know what you want me to say. It happens.  
  
**  
  
The music is Mozart. The room is dark. She had been terrified in the dark too, but he hadn't hurt her then. He had needed brilliant light to inflict pain. She can't sleep and she is sitting in her rocking chair, waiting for the day to come. Sometimes she wakes in panic, convinced her hands and feet are still bound. Other times, like tonight, she cannot shake the fear that someone will come out of the night to find her. She cradles the gun closer.  
  
** Cagney on clerical duty is not a happy cop, nor a joy to be around.  
  
CAGNEY  
  
Doesn't anyone here know the alphabet? What is this? Isbecki, file your own DD.5's! Isbecki! Get back here!  
  
LACEY  
  
Chris, maybe you should go to lunch early. Give us all a break.  
  
CAGNEY  
  
(slams three open file drawers in a row and turns to look at Lacey). What!?  
  
LACEY  
  
Conference, Christine - Now!  
  
Cagney whirls around and strides towards the ladies'. Lacey is about to speak, changes her mind and follows Chris without comment.  
  
Cagney is waiting for her, leaning against the sink counter, arms folded, and looking bored.  
  
CAGNEY  
  
Well?  
  
LACEY  
  
(pointing her finger in Chris's face) You are acting like a spoilt child. You can't go out and play so everyone else has to suffer too. Cut it out! What is wrong with you?  
  
CAGNEY  
  
She is inarticulate. What is wrong? Everything! Running from her nightmares has left her with little room left to run. Chris is good at verbal sniping -it keeps everyone at arm's length.  
  
Cagney throws up her arms and goes to leave the room. Mary Beth steps in her way and grabs her arm.  
  
LACEY  
  
(shouting) I'm talking to you! (shakes her) Chris! You've got to talk to someone, This is eating you alive!  
  
Chris shakes lose but she stays and listens.  
  
You don't listen anymore. Half the time your mind is off - God knows where - thinking about something else. You never complete a conversation - you walk away mid-sentence. You're as jumpy as a cat. (softly) Chris you need to talk about what happened to you. You need to talk about- all the emotions you've been bottling up - Chris!  
  
Chris has turned and left. She is afraid of opening those wounds again. But Chris hasn't thought this out. To tell the truth, she doesn't know why she is running from Mary Beth. She just needs to run.  
  
**  
  
CAGNEY  
  
I don't see why going over all this is going to help. I told you before. I just want to forget all this.  
  
PHILLIPS  
  
Chris, you didn't allow yourself to feel anything when he was hurting you. All that pain had to go somewhere. You haven't let it out yet, and it will come out in some other way - like that anger you felt yesterday morning. Like your nightmares.  
  
CAGNEY  
  
(sulky) I had a right to be angry.  
  
PHILLIPS  
  
Would you normally have been that rough with him?  
  
Cagney doesn't answer.  
  
Chris, you said you don't feel anything. What did you mean?  
  
CAGNEY  
  
(sighing, but she responds) I don't feel anything. I feel dead inside, or anxious for no reason when I'm talking to someone. Empty. (She leans forward and puts her head in her hands). I just want to feel happy - normal again. (tired) There. Satisfied?  
  
PHILLIPS  
  
How did you feel when you woke to find yourself tied to that bed?  
  
CAGNEY  
  
(she jumps up) I can't believe you're asking me that! How did I feel? (she struggles to speak). I was so.afraid. Terrified. (Her breathing is difficult and she feels like she is talking from a distance - like being cut off from everything by a pane of thick glass.) I knew I was going to die. Not thought - knew. Helpless. That bastard owned me. (she is sitting and holding her head) He was going to cut me apart alive, and he was going to do it slowly. How did I feel?  
  
PHILLIPS  
  
What are you feeling now, Chris?  
  
CAGNEY  
  
(Shaking her head slowly, the words are there, but she feels nothing). Nothing. I feel nothing. I can give you the words for what I felt, but I feel nothing. Am I nuts? (the last is more a question to herself).  
  
PHILLIPS  
  
Leans forward to talk to Chris.  
  
Chris? Chris? It's OK. The feelings will come back. You buried them deep inside you until it was safe to bring them out. Maybe you haven't felt safe enough to let those feelings out yet. It will happen.  
  
Chris?  
  
CAGNEY  
  
(words torn out between racking sobs) I was so ashamed. I didn't want them to see me like that.  
  
  
  
** It's raining. She has been wandering. Thinking. She couldn't sleep. She feels like she has opened a door - she can't deal with what she's found - but she can't shut the door again. The terror threatens to overwhelm her. She looks around and realizes that she's cold and wet. She can see her breathe against the dark, wet pavement. She has made her way to Queens.  
  
**  
  
HARVEY  
  
It's 2 A.M.! Who visits at 2 A.M? (He is putting on his robe. Mary Beth, yawning is already on her way to the door)  
  
MARY BETH (looking through the peep hole)  
  
Chris!  
  
Mary Beth undoes the chain to let Christine in.  
  
You're soaking wet!  
  
HARVEY  
  
Hi Chris. What's up? (concerned).  
  
CAGNEY (tired and struggling with her words)  
  
Hi Harvey. I was out walking - thinking.  
  
MARY BETH  
  
Are you OK?  
  
CHRIS  
  
I guess. Yes. I don't want to be alone.  
  
HARVEY  
  
I'm going to leave you two to talk. I've got to be up in 4 hours. (He gives Chris a hug) Good night Chris. (Kisses Mary Beth) Good night Mary Beth.)  
  
Mary Beth gives Chris a warm robe and makes them both some tea.  
  
CAGNEY  
  
I'm sorry I woke you. I forgot the time.  
  
LACEY  
  
That's O.K. Chris. I'm here if you need me.  
  
CAGNEY  
  
Chris smiles, hesitates and then starts to talk.  
  
Today I told Phillips, about what happened, you know, with Krokoff. (she pauses) I was able to remember exactly what happened - but I didn't feel anything. I just told the story like it happened to someone else. But then it all came flooding back.  
  
Chris puts her head down and breaths deeply. She starts to cry again. She can't believe she has any tears left.  
  
CAGNEY  
  
It's the terror that won't leave me alone.  
  
Mary Beth moves to sit closer to Chris. She puts her arm around her. There is a long period of silence. Chris eventually sits up and looks at Mary Beth.  
  
CAGNEY  
  
I'm sorry about today - in the ladies'. I was afraid to talk about it. And you're not one to back off! (Chris smiles a little). It would be just like you to pull it out of me. But now I am remembering - what I felt. (breaths deeply) - and it scares me. I don't think I can deal with all those feelings coming at me all at once. I don't know what will happen. But I feel safe here.  
  
She pauses and looks down. She looks up at Mary Beth again when she is ready to speak  
  
I screamed, you know. I thought I let it out then. All that rage. But that wasn't enough. There's still so much more.  
  
LACEY  
  
I remember. I remember the screams.  
  
They sit silently for quite a while.  
  
LACEY  
  
You've already been through the worst, you know. You survived. Did you know that those screams helped us to get you out? You didn't let him get away with it Chris.  
  
(Chris is crying again. Mary Beth rubs Chris' back)  
  
Go ahead. Let it out. I'm here.  
  
CAGNEY (wiping her eyes)  
  
I was so terrified, Mary Beth. But I didn't give that to him. I gave him nothing. (sadly) But I've changed. He had his sick fingers in my head. Nothing will be the same again.  
  
LACEY (puts her arm around Chris and pulls her close)  
  
It changed all of us. Life can still be good, though, Chris. It may take some time, but you will put this behind you. It may always be part of you but you can move on, you know. You have a lot of friends who care for you. You can rely on them.  
  
CAGNEY  
  
If they're still talking to me. I did act like a witch today.  
  
LACEY  
  
(smiling) They'll survive. One or two may even have learned the alphabet.  
  
CAGNEY  
  
Mary Beth?  
  
LACEY  
  
Hmmm?  
  
CAGNEY  
  
I haven't been there for you lately. I know this has been hard on you too. Killing Krokoff. Worrying about me. I knew you wouldn't give up until you found me. (she is crying again.) I knew I was going to die.  
  
LACEY (She has her arm around Chris and squeezes her tightly.)  
  
I know, Chris. We'll get through this.  
  
Cagney smiles at Mary Beth a little sadly.  
  
Michael, 5 years old now, comes out of his room rubbing his eyes.  
  
MICHAEL  
  
Mom? Auntie Chris?  
  
He crawls up beside his mom and leans against her. He looks up and says:  
  
Is it time?  
  
LACEY  
  
No, it's not time to get up yet, Michael.  
  
MICHAEL  
  
No, is it Auntie Chris's birthday yet?  
  
LACEY  
  
No, Michael, not 'til next week.  
  
MICHAEL  
  
(disappointed). Oh. Auntie Chris?  
  
CAGNEY  
  
(wiping her eyes) Yes, Michael?  
  
MICHAEL  
  
Do you want your present now?  
  
CAGNEY  
  
She smiles.  
  
Yes, Michael, this would be just the right time.  
  
Michael runs off to his room and returns with a giant red heart. Cagney opens the heart and a crown pops out. Michael is grinning from ear to ear. Chris reaches over and plants a giant kiss on him. He throws his arms around Chris and gives her a big hug.  
  
MICHAEL  
  
Why are you crying Aunt Chris?  
  
CAGNEY  
  
Sometimes people cry when they're happy - and you've made me happy, Michael. It's a beautiful gift. (She gives him another hug).  
  
LACEY  
  
OK. Off to bed young man. Auntie Chris will be here in the morning (she looks at Chris) You're not going anywhere tonight. (to Michael) I'll be in to tuck you in.  
  
MICHAEL  
  
Night! (giggles as Chris kisses him again)  
  
CAGNEY  
  
Looking at the heart. The inscription reads: Happy Birthday Aunt Chris. I am glad you are home  
  
It's beautiful.  
  
LACEY  
  
I helped him with the letters, but he knew what he wanted to say. The boys didn't know what was going on when you disappeared. I explained that you were safe and home when it was over. Michael had wanted to know if you had been lost. He was very concerned.  
  
(Mary Beth had explained to her two young sons why Chris was so bruised and cut. They had nodded solemnly. She had held them both close and wept.)  
  
CAGNEY  
  
Want to know the best definition of a friend I've ever heard?  
  
Mary Beth nods.  
  
A friend knows when you are lost and she doesn't stop looking for you until she finds you and brings you home.  
  
(She hugs Mary Beth who is crying now too)  
  
Thanks Mary Beth. 


End file.
